MISS



Miss a person but cant go find the people is really hard...
For me didn't meet or see dao you a few second will super miss,worry and nervous...
Why will like this just cause one reason...
I think you know too,cause I have say to you before...
At first I know that miss a person really very suffer when cant meet the person...
You have so miss me or not...
I really not sure...
But I hope that you have...
Miss a person really hard to desribe...
Even how miss just could bear the miss...
Need to bear the miss until how long only could meet you I really don't know...
Sometimes I really want speak loud to you that I really cant bear anymore...
I REALLY VERY MISS YOU VERY MUCH...
But I not dare to tell you cause really have no idea to solve I don't miss you...
Sometimes I also will ask myself why I so miss you...
Finally I know that I miss you is cause I LOVE YOU...
Haiz~
Say so much I also cant bear to miss you...
Haiz~
Just want say that
I MISS YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!

Heart Pain





Haiz~
One day sudden happen much things...
I cant bear it at all...
Undang exam fail...
Seem very useless cause study for much day still get those result...Hate myself...
After go midvalley alone,train delate for 1 hours...Haiz~
Super bad lucky...
Reach there really have no mood for shopping and watch movie...
Sudden when back time was happen something...
The thing let me feel sum tong,suffer,sad,cry...
I don't know want how...
Inside the train I bear to don't drop eye tail,I keep bear,keep bear,keep bear...
The eye tail was going drop on but keep cool down myself,to let myself relax...
But when think must wait until two week,until we start study only could meet and contiunes the relationship,my heart feel pain and suffer...
Two week for me was too long even two second didn't meet you...
Sudden happen those thing have many plan have to stop...
26th have to cancel,27th was the important have to cancel...
Even the 100th days too...
Haiz~After reach kajang ktm I quick walk of the ktm...
Cause I really cant bear the eye tail is droping...
While the eye tail droping,the heart also blooding...
It was very pain and suffer,how come you call me to wait for the two week until school reopen...
For me two second already was problem...
I really don't know I could bear or not...
The eye tail keep drop I feel very imcompent,I want stop at half way to contiunes cry...
But sudden going to knock by car...
But why that car don't straight knock maybe I wouldn't feel pain and suffer anymore...
I cant bear to cry and heart blooding...
But I wait until very long my daddy havent come,I havent stop cry until the nose blooding too...
Why the health also need to bring trouble for me...
I not dare told my daddy what was happen...
I just could find lisa...
Anyway thank you help and told me everything...
I think my emotions still need to control...
Much unhappy thing was happen on today...
Heart pain,suffer,blooding and so still remain...
Keep cry until non-stop...
I still could bear until so long...?

SPM~



Finally going finish our SPM......
Still have one day of chiness exam,we form 5 could free already.......
Actually can't say free already is start our new war again......
This war have relationship with our future......
After SPM we still have many thing wait-ING us to do.....
After the last day exam don't know when we only could meet again......
We have our own thing need to do after that......
Much of us is prepare-ING for intake early......
Some of us is prepare-ING for work first........
Actually how was me I still don't know,have no idea at all.......
What course should I going to take.........
I never never never know it.......
Just have follow what had my daddy choose........
Many choice for me but never have one I love most..........
I was tired for exam already now giving me many choice of course that I should take one........
Really very very very tired......
Could let me rest and relax first.....????
Haiz~SPM already bring problem for me,now take course also bring problem.......
What courseould take....???
Bio-tec,business and finase,account and finase,doctor...????
Don't know......
Haiz,I think wait finish SPM only think again bah.......
Very headache and tired~

10/10/2009



Cause yesterday have not mood today also same.........
HATE it~
Today already have not mood at all.......
When meet YOU some more mood down.........
YOU was very grumpy and in bad mood........
YOU was first time so grumpy to me.......
I was very shock-ING........
What was HAPPENED.....????
YOU was very scary at that time.........
I don't know want how and what should i do.......
Haiz~
Afternoon~
I was rush of time cause have many thing want to do.......
Wanted make YOU happy so think alot ideal.........
And think-ING make surpise for YOU.........
At least on 8 o'clock i done all thing........
Finally finish my surpise present........
Then wait-ING daddy back go for having dinner........
Then daddy want accompany friend and I was wait-ING my friend okay for they show.......
They have show on today........
They was very smart on dance and sing-ING.......
Finally they finish and i want to give something to people........
So told them i want walk to that people house........
But stop by them,and get they blame..........
But at least my daddy help me i done my work.........
Ermm........
Just say until this part other can told your all........
So hope YOU don't so grumpy again and in bad mood.........
So end here~

9/10/2009





Today very early then wake up already........
Or else could say never sleep last night.......
Cause have no mood sleep at all......
Don't why isn't YOU unhappy so me also like this.......
But yesterday already promise teach nyin make cake......
So must attend then went for buy those all thing........
Then reach nyin's house but still need wait-ING her parent back.........
Then we could go to her aunt's house mke cake........
Then we start make cheese cake.......
It very easy to make and hold process was make by nyin herself and also her sister,nzii.......
Seem like very easy to make those cake but when the cake bake okay.........
Was very worse,not same as what i did last time.........
Seem very weird of the cake.........
Isn't the procedure wrong already...????
Where know nyin aunt's house the oven too small cant bake then we go another aunt's house......
At least we could calm down and make the second cake.........
Its was a sponge cake........
But don't know why its cant sucess at all.......
Isn't materials was wrong or procedure wrong....????
I HATE this feel.........
I LOVE make cake but when mak-ING cake time it can't sucess at all........
Haiz~
Finally have xinlu the help that cake sucess........
But i was not happy at all,cause teach people make cake can't sucess.......
But when make by myself will sucess and can eat.........
Then we wait-ING the cake bake okay and we also have make muffin......
Finally okay bak-ING,the cake and muffin very fragrant and nice to eat......
Then we decide take for lisa they and also give some to our biology tuition teacher......
After that call my cousin come fetch me back to shower and fetch xinlu to tuition........
8 o'clock start tuition until 10 o'clock.......
Back home those all cake was ate by my family......
Haiz~
I have not try the cake......
Today was happy cause make cake but also tired and the mood was not well at all......
First time make cake until like this.........
HATE those feeling........
No mood want write at all and have nothing want to share........
So end writting.......

6/10/2009





Today was my birthday~
Hehe~
I was so happy~
Yesterday night have not sleep at all........
Cause my gor suddenly call me,and accompany me hold night......
Beside that,YOU also accompany me hold night......
After chat-ING with YOU then my gor was call come.........
Then hold night was no sleep chat-ING with gor.......
Then next morning need go out early cause my gang was decide go for sing k.........
Hehe~
Hold night already have many people wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY.........
So happy~cant sleep already~
Morning time~
Rush of time was didn't having breakfast then straight go to bus stop find 002 and 003......
Where know they was late than me.......
I thought i was the late ones.........
Hehe~
While wait-ING them already have 2 bus pass by........
So i decide when they come MUST blame them already........
Finally they reach,then 002 say cause of he suddenly change a PRO phone so didn't wish me last night.......
Its okay~don't worry~
After that we was reach balakong and need to change bus.......
That bus was very slow make me start feel not well.........
Finally we reach jusco cheras selatan then go for meet 004.........
Then we go to green box meet 001.......
While wait-ING for sing k time,we go for buy-ING ticket for later watch-ING movie.........
We decide watch "Where Got Ghost"........
Then we start for sing-ING song.........
From the first song until the last song also is me and 004 sing the most......
Other also don't know stay do-ING what........
Keep walk in out the room or else go for toliet or take drink-ING.......
Then when i and 004 sing-ING that "Way Back Into Love" time,the tv screen suddenly appears "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".......
I was shock-ING at there,don't know want give what respone........
Then the door suddenly open and the waiter was take-ING the birthday cake in........
Then behind the waiter was is a SCERET PRESENT---------> LISA......
I some more feel shock-ING cause doesn't have people told me..........
Then run to lisa there hug her.......
Haha~
Really very happy they give me this susprise.......
Then sing "BIRTHDAY SONG" and make wish then cut cake and eat.......
Finish that we contiunes sing-ING until finish......
MOST happy is the last song was my idol JAY CHOW's song......
Haha~
Then we go shopping and look so many nice the shirt.........
But i also must get permission from my dear designer.......
Finally reach the time start watch our movie........
Then go buy popcorn and drink.........
Then go in that cinema but just have those few line have people......
Seem so SCARY and COLD!!!!!!!!!!!
Then the hold process i keep eat-ING my popcorn and feel very cold.......
Then we keep laugh until so loud when reach the funny part........
Then the 004 was so scare when watch-ING the movie.........
She keep take her jacket and cover her eye when sit beside me.......
Then when finish that show,004 say want fast get of the cinema room.........
Cause she scare and we feel very cold..........
Then me and lisa decide want back cause have somebody promise me bring me to pasar malam at sungai long........
Then 002,003 and 004 say want buy something so left at there.........
The bus awhile then reach kajang........
So walk to mcD find that people.......
But that people say didn't go........
Haiz~
Make me feel disappointed,i already wait for long time.........
Suddenlly feel that all happy mood gone........
Then back to daddy shop went home to attend another party........
Seem like 12 o'clock then back cause have no mood happy and contiunes play-ING........
Nothing could share so end conversation.........
Just wanted thank those all wish me the friend.........
Thank your all the wish,present and susprise........
LOVE your all~Muackz~

爱让人幸福..
也让人辛苦..
爱让人甜密..
也让人窒息..
爱让人回味..
也让人流泪..
爱让人心醉..
也让人心碎..
爱让人依靠
也让人煎熬..




爱上一个不该爱的人..
有罪嘛..??
等待一个不回来的心..
值得嘛..??
想念一个不爱你的人..
不累嘛..??
珍惜一个不珍惜你的人..
应该嘛..??
被伤害过的心..
会痊愈嘛..??
留在心的裂痕..
补得回嘛..??
放开手的爱..
挽得回嘛..??
被伤害以后..
会坚强嘛..??
为爱付出是伟大..
还是傻瓜..??
''我爱你''是诺言..
还是谎言..??
一段没结果的爱..
究竟该等待..
还是要放开..??



This i take from my friend blog..........
I very love she write the thing........
She write the was as same as what i was think-ING........
Don't know why nowadays feel myself very weird.......
What was happen to myself.......
What was i scare now.....???
Isn't something i have will gone later......????
I was don't know but feel very scare.........
What i want always also will gone........
That thing really very IMPORTANT for me i couldn't lost it........
I CANT lost you.......
LOVE you always......
No mood write so end conversation.......
Good night~muackz~

4/10/2009



Today is xinlu's cousin little girl the birthday......
Little girl,happy birthday ya~
So we decide bring little girl to sunway lagoon cause she love sunway lagoon very much......
This decide we plan very long and also have abit bit argue before.......
Finally is go sunway lagoon........
Haiz~
Must early wake up again on holiday..........
At holiday everyone also could late wake up but why I not.......
Holiday as same as school day early wake up........
Haiz~
I have NO ideal cause i not bear to reject a little girl the request.........
So i MUST do it cause already promise her that i will attend..........
I was very hate decide or plan when anyone birthday or else holiday wanted go where........
Cause always the plan and decide also can't come true.......
Finally this decide already come true.........
Late wake up today,when xinlu call come only know already late......
So rush of time just could fly down and shower......
Cause of rush of time so have many thing didn't take and haven't having breakfast at all.......
Haiz~
Then we need to take 2 turn of train and need to sit bus only reach there.......
Finally we reach there,then we go and find the way to sunway lagoon.....
Then we go and buy the ticket then go and change our cloth and find a loker to put our thing.......
Cause of i didn't bring my sliper then need to buy.......
Finally we can start play already.......
The little girl so happy..........
Xinlu say that her bag was water prove so could put thing into then she hold-ING the bag......
Where know that my phone and her phone was sink in water........
Can't on at all but the little girl phone could use........
Now the me don't believe water prove at all..........
At last we finish our all games then go for shower.......
After shower we went for having steambot.........
I wait-ING this day for a long time........
Hehe~
LOVE steambot so much,won't full when having steambot.......
Then finish having steambot we went for buying shirt.......
I bought 3 shirt,1 is from padini and 2 from catch up.........
3 shirt i also very love it........
Hehe~
After that,we went home.......
At ktm we was wait-ING the train and the train keep on delate.........
Make us lost patience and the little girl already very tired.......
Finally we also reach kajang.......
Then went home rest......
Today was very happy but we couldn't take any picture.........
Cause of our phone was sink in water.........
So i feel very unhappy.........
Haiz~
Feel regret at all.......
No mood already so end here.......
Good night~muackz~

30/9/2009 & 1/10/2009

Happy birthday to 003 and 004.........

Sorry for the late wish to 003 and 004..........

Nowadays have no mood write blog so didn't wish your two........

Hope your two could forgive me.......

003 birthday that day was the lastday of the tiral exam.......

All of us was so excited cause after the EST exam we was freedom........

And this day we wait for long time.........

That day morning nothing surspire just 004 and 001 do something joke.......

Keep make me under control myself laugh at there........

That time the me seem like a crazy girl......

Haha~

After that started exam,exam the report is write about sleep......

So funny the report wanted we write.......

And we just know how to sleep don't know want how to write........

So that report we don't know could take how much the mark.......

Finally we finish the last exam,we was freedom now!!!!!!!!!!

Haha~

Then we decide wanted walk out the school to pizza hut..........

For celebrate 003 the birthday and give her some surprise........

But when we wanted go out time,there was that ah gui and Yu Hua Guard block-ING us........

And the gate was close........

That time 001 was started give up,and calling us don't want go out first......

But we already decide early want go out so can't give up now........

That time have some form 6 student went out of the school but the YHG was not block-ING them........
So that we thought we also could do like this......

Then me,006,007,003 and 008 was start walk out first.......

But when we walk until the gate there the YHG was shout at there........

Then we was catch by the YHG and 006 was have some quarrel with the YHG......

Wanted know what did 006 and the YHG the consevartion then go look 006 the blog......

After that,i was calling my sister come and fetch us out......

Then was my sister and the guard the consevartion.......

My sister: Saya must jumpa adik saya and bawa dia balik.

YHG: Ermm......kamu pakai sangat sexy saya takut pengetua tidak bagi kamu jumpa leh.

The YHG was looking of my sister leg......

OMG~why the YHG so 38.......

Then my sister ask again can or not then he only give us go......
Finally we reach the pizza hut there.....

Then we start older food and me and 002 was go buy cake sceretly.......

Hehe~shhhh......
Later on the thing was very excited but i was lazy to write and no mood write again.......

If wanted know the your all could looking 002,003,004,006 the blog......

I' m so sorry~

Anyway happy birthday to 003~

004,I'm so sorry cause can't help you celebrate your birthday on this year......

Hope you could forgive me.........

And i think your parent will help-ING you celebrate your birthday.......

Anyway happy birthday to 004~

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to 003 and 004,

Happy birthday to your two.

Hope your two dream come true......

Happy and smile always.......

And SPM get 11A.......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

Unforgetable day~
(29/9/2009)



Today have a big big big thing make me feel very happy.......
I wouldn't forget this day.......
If was very IMPORTANT and very UNFORGETABLE day........
I very LOVE this day~
Shhhhhhhhhh.........
But i wouldn't tell-ING your all..........
Hehe~
Cause it was sceret......Haha~
Anyway i LOVE this day too much~
That thing i wouldn't forget......
I will remember FOREVER.......
LOVE IT~
My birthday was com-ING soon......
I just HOPE my birthday that day i will get what i want.......
And HOPE that people will give me some reward......
Haha~
HOPE have a UNFORGETABLE the birthday for this year........
Anyway LOVE this day.......



P/S: I was very happy so write the thing maybe got abit abnormal.......

Sorry for late come the wish for my 002.......





That day(25/9/2009)is my team the 002 birthday.........
Before 002 birthday i was decide bake a birthday cake for 002.....
And that was i first time bake birthday cake for my friend.........
So very scare about that cake will very hard to eat......
But i also done that cake,and have someone telling me that easy way to bake that cake......
Cause if i follow that recipes bake sure bake until next morning........
Finally i done that cake with that new way and have a important people helping me..........
I was feel very happy because of that people help-ING me bake that cake and can't even eat that cake.........
Some more went to that house and disturb-ING that people rest........
I feel very sorry and thank to that people.......
And that time was going hurt it that people toes.......
Cause of i rush of time wanted go back and take that cake from the table never see have a knife until that cake.........
So that knife drop down that table and hurt it that people leg abit already..........
Some more wanted that people help-ING me carry that oven.......
Its was so heavy........
I'm so sorry to that people.......
Anyway,i also must thank you......
Love you so much......muackz~
The next morning 10 o'clock go fetch oo4 from supermarket.......
Cause of suddenly have someone don't want having breakfast with me..........
Haiz~
So me also didn't having breakfast then go find 004......
After that,we reach 003 the house and perpare all thing......
Then 004,003 and 008 was design put that cream and other thing on that cake.......
Finally we design finish then put into refrigerator.......
Then 1o'clock time we went to 002 house and wanted give him surpise.......
So we decide light the candle in the car but when get down from the car the fire was gone........
So that we just could light inside again.........
Then we wait-ING 002 open door for us but wait until very long.........
Some more wanted us stand under so violent the sunlight there......
We feel very hot and want die.........
Finally 002 was open that door and 002 the first feeling is shock-ING........
Haha~
He was just wake up by his's brother cause of we suddenly appear at his house.........
Then we sing birthday song to 002 and took alot of picture.......
Then we having that hand make the birthday cake together.........
After we seem like kid hold-ING the junk food and watch-ING movie.......
That was the first time we saw 002 the LADY GAGA........
Haha~
Her show was very prefect........
After that,004 wanted went home and we also don't want distrub-ING 002 rest.......
Cause he was sick.........
Today the surpise birthday was well done but i still feel unhappy.........
Cause not all of us com-ING,Haiz~
Nevermind.....hope next time we still have surpise birthday again.........
Bye~
Love your all~muackz~
Happy birthday,002~

HATE IT~

I VERY HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!

WHY MUST SO RUDE????????

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?????

I HATE PEOPLE RUDE AND SOME MORE HATE MYSELF SO RUDE

WHAT GOING ON?????

WHY BE SO RUDE??????

CAN'T EVEN POLITENESS

WHAT WAS HAPPEN???????

IF HAVE SOMETHING HAPPEN ALSO NOT NEED SO RUDE

JUST POLITENESS ABIT GO AND SETTLE ALL THING

SO RUDE HAVE USE?????

NO!!!!!!!!!SOME MORE USELESS!!!!!!!

WHY LIKE THIS??????

HATE IT!!!!!!!!HATE IT VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!

DON'T EVEN TRY TO SO RUDE IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!

ESPECIALLY I CARE THE PEOPLE!!!!!!

I DON'T WANT SO TIRED GO AND HATE PEOPLE

SO DON'T DO THAT

HOPE YOUR ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT I SAY

I'M SERIOUS

AND ALSO DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY AND BE SO RUDE

I VERY HATE IT

REMEMBER DON'T TRY TO DO

HATE~

I ALREADY TELL YOUR ALL
WHY STILL WANTED WASTE MY TIMES SAY AGAIN
I WOULDN'T LIKE TO BLAME OR SCOLD YOUR ALL AT HERE
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY QUANLIFICATION
AND I WOULDN'T LIKE SAY SOME MUCH AT HERE
I DOESN'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME AND SPIRIT TO SAY TO YOUR ALL
WHAT I WANTED SAY ALREADY SAY WHEN MEET YOUR ALL TIME
WHAT SHOULD SAY AND DO I ALREADY DO
PLEASE JUST LEFT ME ALONE
PLEASE~
I VERY TIRED,LAZY,BORED,NO MOOD AT THOSE ALL THING
I WAS NOT YOUR ALL THE MEDIOCRE PERSON
I COULDN'T ALWAYS HELP YOUR ALL DO THINGS
YOUR ALL ALSO MUST DONE BY YOURSELF
I COULDN'T ALWAYS BESIDE YOUR ALL
AND THAT WAS YOUR ALL THE THINGS
I CAN'T ALWAYS DONE FOR YOUR ALL
I'M VERY SORRY~
I REALLY NEED TIME FOR CALM DOWN
I ALREADY TIRED ON DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOUR ALL
AND YOUR ALL HAVE SOME IS COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY STUDENT
YOUR ALL ALREADY MATURE
KNOW WHAT SHOULD DONE BY YOURSELF
I JUST A SECONDARY STUDENT I WOULDN'T A GENIUS
DON'T KNOW DO COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY THE HOMEWORK
ALWAYS NEED ME ASK MY SISTER AND COUSIN
SOME MORE LET THEM BLAME AND SCOLD
BUT I NEVER BLAME AND COMPLAIN AT FRONT OF YOUR ALL
BECAUSE OF YOUR ALL WAS MY FRIEND
I DOES WANT HAPPEN QUARREL
BUT I NOW CANT BEAR AT ALL
I'M SORRY~
AND IS YOUR ALL WANTED HAVE QUARREL WITH ME
I DON'T KNOW STILL COULD SAY WHAT
NOW WE IS FRIEND,FUTURE ALSO WAS FRIEND
I JUST WANT CALM DOWN
GIVE ME TIME
I WOULD LET EVERYTHING CHANGE FROM WORSE
AND WON'T HAVE ANYTHING HAPPEN AGAIN
HOPE YOUR ALL COULD KNOW WHAT I SAY AT THAT TIME
TIRED NOW~
SO,BYE~

19/9/2009







Wake up at 6.30 a.m. in the morning........
Bacause wanted go for jogging.......
Today jogging alone,actually also very good when alone jogging........
But have a little bit rain don't know later will sick or not.......
Hehe~
Finish jogging went for shower.......
Because daddy want go out early then too rush didn't having breakfast.........
Then walk to bus stop cause they already wait at there.......
Finally bus reach then we chat-ING in the bus........
That you xian and ping zheng really very funny.......
Because of mok forget wanted stop at where and we keep on chat-ING so we over the bus stop......
Then we stop at front and walk back........
Then reach there we first go find weng han the present......
We find for so long finally find the present.......
Then go buy ping zheng present.......
His present very easy to buy so we find his present........
Then left me and mok we two the present is shoe........
The two shoe also very nice to see........
My shoe is grey colour,then mok is black........
They also say that shoe suit me but big size,but they also bought for me then mok that black shoe also very suit her.......
And we went to Chicken Rice Shop having our lunch.........
Even morning didn't having breakfast also didn't feel hungry.......
Then we go for taking photo........
WE four very funny when choose that background........
But we took the photo also very nice.......
Hehe~
Then after that we keep walk and we also went for buying shirt.......
I went to player bought a pair and a t-shirt........
Super love that player shirt and pair........
I also super love player the jacket but didn't bought........
Haiz~
Then also bought a grey t-shirt,that shirt was long and had a hat.........
Also super nice~love it too~
Later mok was very unhappy because she and me keep help they buy present and she didn't bought any shirt but i have.......
Then she say must bought only want back,we say she seem like a child.........
Haha~
Then finally she bought a t-shirt is blue colour and super suit she this chlid......
Haha~
Later that you xian what also didn't bought......
Me and mok say must he bought a shirt only can back........
HE say he want baby milo shirt and must bing bing ones........
Then we say always buy baby milo shirt then we don't let him bought........
So we say must bought something difference and special abit......
Then we call him bought a V shape t-shirt have few button at the center of the shirt.......
Some more is that shirt super suit him........
First time see he wear that type shirt me and mok think very nice.......
Then he say okay bought that shirt..........
Haha~
Finally we finish our shopping........
Because of mok want help her daddy work,you xian wanted went home prepare his thing,ping zheng wanted having dinner with parent and me also want attend dinner..........
So we went back early~Haiz~
Can't shopping~feel so boring~
Then we seperate at times square,mok went to ktm and we went to taking taxi.......
Because of outside ranniy then we took taxi back......
Cause of we first time taking taxi back from times square,we don't know need to buy taxi ticket......
Finally have a person telling us then we only know........
Funny is the taxi driver don't know want how go to kajang bus station........
OMG~is the third time taking taxi that taxi driver don't know go where i want.........
First time go to the ji wu stadium,second is midnight want back to kajang from that stadium third time is now go back to kajang from times square.........
OMG~
why so stupid?????always i taking taxi that driver also don't know go where i want.......
Actually also can't say that driver stupid cause kajang too unfamous.......
Finally that driver know how to go cause i telling her that route to kajang.......
So lucky is me not is a road blindness.......
Then we reach kajang,and alone back to daddy shop.......
Suddenly feel that the feeling very werid don't know what will happen soon.......
Feeling that something going happen on me but not sure is what.........
Feel that very scary and scare..........
Alone went to czip lee bought what my sister want but there does have.......
THen alone back again feel tired when walk and feel dizzy when walk.......
Lucky didn't fall down,cause don't know what will happen soon.........
Since i MUST go for see doctor again and having medicine again......
Haiz~HATE~
Lucky uncle come fetch me back for rest.......
Reach home then take a shower........
Later happen the thing i wouldn't want to say.......
NOTHING~
So,bye~

18/9/2009



Haiz~
Really not mood write blog,do anything,or else go shopping with friends or watching movie.......
Why was like this????you already didn't bother me for long time.......
I feel very sad,sorry,unhappy and worry very much.........
I don't like now the feel very much and feel scare will lost something........
Haiz~
Yesterday go music box sing k with mok,jia ping,weng han,you xian,wai yan and chee sim........
But don't have any mood sing just keep waiting something,but at last give mok them call and sing.......
And there the air condition really very cold until we all just jump,stand up and play at there........
Finally sing until sore thost and going not more sound,cause not mood then keep shout when singing song........
Because that heart feel very pain and suffer,and morning get shock when jogging cause that feel force until myself crying until going give that car knock.......
Lucky give my jeckson gor pull back,i'm sorry i know i useless,always do something you dislike,and going give car knock........
Anyway jeckson gor thank you helping me.........
Haiz~
Later night still wanted tuition,so scare that i can't concentrate at all,and can't control my emotions and i does't have any sound.......
And from exam start that day does't sleep at all and feel very tired........
At sing k time give lisa blame awhile,she say even i feel how suffer also can't make myself until so worse,and not need cry until wanted happened accident........
She keep on blame-ING,i know myself now really very worse,she wanted me control my emotion and must think properly when action........
Say the truth not you beside me i really can't concentrate at study and can't control my emotion at all even now have lisa helping me.........
Lisa wanted me put down those all thing first,happy abit when sing.........
Then keep on sing at there and finally reach we should go back........
When going back time,i and mok decide before wanted go metro kajang the new shop buy baby milo the shirt........
The whether still remains cold and rainy same with now the mood,finally walk to metro kajang........
Go to that shop and go find that t-shirt,then mok say that blue also very suit me she also like that yellow with greee very much,then we two go for pay money........
Finally buy a new shirt again........
Hehe~
Then we wanted go back cause wanted tuition at night.......
Mok wanted go back school waiting her mum cause kajang really very traffic jam.......
Reach tuition time......
At that time still sms-ING with sifu........
That time we two happen something until we two have some quarrel......
I really don't know wanted how why keep have quarrel with people........
Why i so useless keep make quarrel with people.......
Sifu,i'm sorry,i just know bring troublesome to you and quarrel with you.......
Haiz~
Started tuition,my mood still remains and can't concentrate at all.......
When teacher give us test for that biology paper I.......
But my brain really didn't function at all keep think other........
What going on to me?????
All question doesn't have one is answers by myself.......
Keep asking people answer........why so stupid.......
At last finish tuition,my daddy come fetch me.........
Because wanted go yumcha with jeckson gor cause my daddy wanted gathering with his friend......
Just left me then call gor come accompany me cause he at school have lion dance.......
But suddenly have something then he take me go back to school.......
Night go back school really have abit difference.......
Then we go oldtown yumcha.......
At there we chat-ING many thing of sad,happy,angry.........
He keep on blame-ING me at all.......
Haiz~
Gor,sorry your sister really stupid and useless........
NOthing can do,don't know action at all just know say sorry.........
Always need you help me do anything........
I'm sorry,i'm really sorry.........
After going back to daddy there and just be stupid girl a waiting him finish......
So tired until going fall asleep at there.......
I not dare sleep at all cause scare you reply me time i didn't answer you........
Keep waiting you.......
AT last,daddy okay,go back and wanted rest early cause tomorow wanted go times square........
Okay,wanted rest and no mood.......
Ohya,tomorow kajang will very traffic jam cause tomorow is hari raya eva........
So your all decide nice before going to kajang.......
Good night~

18/9/2009



Yesterday very late sleep......
Today morning wake up at 6.30.........
Because my gor finally promise me go for jogging......
He always also lie to me but today he finally come accompany me jogging.......
But wake up time feel very moody.......
Don't know why just keep look on the phone........
I still waiting someone reply me already very long still haven't reply me.......
Haiz~
Later go for jogging with jeckson gor......
He very funny,jogging also slow and tired than me.........
Me this body and health got problem also fast than him........
Nevermind,who call him long time didn't come jogging with me........
When jogging time,gor the face seem like very moody and strees on something.......
Then ask him what was going on........
He just silent at there........
Haiz~
Gor,have anything can tell me,don't keep in the heart.......
Me today also very moody,very unhappy and feel sad.......
But i still telling you what was happened........
Because even i know you couldn't help me but you will lend me your ear......
Silent at there and hear what i going to say........
And you also lend me your shoulder for crying awhile.........
I already have abit fine.......
So i hope you could tell me what was going on tonight when we go for yumcha........
Maybe me this do sister could help you some.........
Today the hold jogging just see me stay say something and cry.......
The jogging was not fun at all......
Gor,thank you lend me your ear and shoulder........
Maybe i know that i cry and just stay there wait is useless.......
You wanted me action.......
But i also must follow what that person want......
Maybe that person does want me action go and find that people........
So i just can wait.......
But i don't know my patience can wait until when.......
I only know my patience also got a limit want.....
I really hope today could receive that person the message........
I was waiting for you.......
After jogging went back home for shower......
Because later wanted went out to play.......
Started holiday,must go for fun and relax.........
Haiz~
But seem like no mood at all........
What happenend to me?????
Hey nicole,could you happy just put down those thing first.......
Go for fun first,play until happy don't keep thing those thing.......
You just think didn't action at all also useless........
Why you so useless want.........
Want that people reply you then go find that person.........
Why so useless........really is a stupid people........
Okay,no mood write at all and wanted go out......
Then,bye~

What happen to me today.......





Today feel very down........
From morning until now also very down.......
Isn't because of biology exam or get blame by people.......haiz~
Why always must like this......
Exam times still feel down and feel that today the exam also will get worse result......
Today the biology exam i don't know do all even i got tips on that exam........
That paper 2 really very tough......
I already study all the tips but still don't know do.......
When take the paper i started want cry.......
But i tell myself haven't do the paper can't so fast give up.......
And can't even drop the tail.......
But when do the all question feel very tired wanted sleep......
But i know i can't sleep because promise someone won't sleep at exam.......
That paper really make me wanted cry,i really don't know want how do........
Suddenly feel very hate myself.......what also don't know.......
For this 3 paper of science i like biology very much but biology is the tough one and i lost many mark on it many question didn't do........
The physics i hate most and never read at all.......
But i know want how to answers and didn't lost many mark on it.......
Why will like this one????i like most the subject i don't know do and lost many mark but i hate most the subject i know want how to do and didn't lost many mark........
What was happen on me?????hate this feel.......
After exam want having lunch with people and later want go tuition.......
But the mood still down and don't have any apptide to eat thing and very tired.......
When having lunch didn't say anything just slient at there.........
Then sms to my friend ask them want go pasar malam tonight......
They all didn't answers me just scold and blame me.......haiz~
What going on,why blame me.......they all say don't want bother me.......
Then all also don't want reply me.......haiz~
Later go sms my cousin ask her want go pasar malam........
Because she also same me wanted relax........
But she also scold me call me stay at home.....haiz~
Why want find friend go out time all also don't want go and get blame.......
I very hate planning to go out because at last sure get blame and not one will approve......
And also tired of planning.......
Yesterday want help someone buy that muscle medicine also get blame.......
Because see that people so pain want help and feel love dearly to that people.......
Then call my daddy help me buy and i already 3 day didn't talk with my daddy.....
Yesterday just call him buy then get blame......haiz~
Haiz~always like this why i always get blame........
Mood down until don't want go out..........haiz~
Afternoon never rest before even early go back......
Just lying on the bed and the heart drop blood and tail........
Because of biology paper that time started cry lucky doesn't have anyone see.......
Oh My God.......i bear for so long the tail finally drop off.........haiz~
Don't know what how to let those down feeling disapper......
I wanted find someone lend their ear to me........
Have anyone here could help me???????haiz~
Feel tired,bored,down on everything........
Does't have any mood go and bother other thing........
I wanted to be fine as soon as could anyone help me.........

Never feel regret.......



Actually i write this blog just wanted tell you i never feel regret on what i did for you........
You have ask before me whether i will feel regret on what i did on you......
I don't think that i will regret on what did i do.......
Because when i decide wanted to do something sure won't regret at all........
So i don't think you need to worry.......
Actually i wanted ask that why you will feel so nervous on i will regret......
Hope you can give me the answers.......
Since the first day say like you i won't never feel regret like on you......
And decide do those thing to you also won't feel regret.......
Once i decide the thing won't so easy regret.........
And important is those thing is do for you......
I can say you is the first one let me feel wanted do everything for you.......
And important is never feel regret.......
I just will feel happy because could do those thing for you.......
For me if what i did could let you happy then everything would be fine......
Seem you happy and happiness you want me do what also can.........
And once do it then won't regret at all.......
It could say does't have regret this word appear in my live.......
Love and does't feel regret.......

Who am I.......



Excuse me,here have anyone could tell me who am I......
I really wanted know who am I.......
A people????A rubbish????An air????o else????
Who am I????myself also no sure isn't i still have any quanlification go for asking people who am I......
I feel that and also seem that i was a stupid girl......
What i wanted,what i thinking,what i doing myself also don't know i where dare go for asking people who am I and even i does't have any quanlification ask that......
Everyone even my friend,my cousin,my uncle or aunt also feel that i alive until very happy,very happiness does't have any problem in my life because they say i have a good and happiness family......
They say they very admire me because i have a very love me the daddy,got many good sister,and also brother.......
But i never think before that i have anything can let them admire me......
I have a good and happiness family then so what,its does't is mine......
What i had now also not mine,what belongs to me already gone.....
What my daddy also gone,that live with me does't was my daddy,he does't is last time very love me the daddy......
Nowadays went back just know wanted how to blame me and slap me,does't caring of me.....
I really don't know what did he thinking in his mind and also don't know he wanted what.......
What my good sister all gone......
They say very admire because i have a bigger than me than sister.......
Actually nothing can let your all admire because that does not is my sister.......
Got sister then so what,got sister just equal to does't have sister.......
Because my sister also not very like me..........
We two always quarrel when meet together.........
My cousin just only same my sister when we meet together we does't have anything wont say,sure say until crazy.......
So what they say i have a happiness family all also lie people........
What had they see from eye was incorrect.......
When really with my family only know that truth......
So i wouldn't feel happy when with my family.......
Because it will make my mood some more worse and have that all i does't want the quarrel......
I feel very tired on my family and feel bored with them.......
Even how i go and caring or good with them also wasted........
Won't have any good ending at last.......
Some more worse so i won't wanted caring and good to them anymore.......
Tha hold family good and caring me just have my aunt and cousin........
They seem like is my mother and sister......
I love them most......
Anyway i hate to answers about my family.......
Because i does't have a good family at all.......
Don't even try to ask about them........
Actually until now i wanted know who am i????
But seem like can't get any answers.......

Exam day~



Haiz~this week already start exam......
And this week the exam all paper i all aso don't know do......
I already try my best go and study hard and memorize it in my brain......
But don't know why the brain blanking and very tired........
What did i memorize it the brain all also forget when i get the exam paper......
Seem like me this type stupid people call me go for memorize or remember thing sure at the end all also forget.......
This week i already sit of 3 subject and i already can know about my result for this 3 subject.......
I could know i will get a very worse result and now must start prepare thing for sleep at roadsides.........
This week i already sit for Chiness paper II,paper I,Physics paper II,paper I,paper III and Chemistry paper II,paper I and paper III.......
But in this 8 exam paper does't have 1 is i really know to do.......
All i also don't know to do even i already late sleep or didn't sleep at all try my best go and memorize it still can't answer that all question.......
My friend already try her beat teaching me chiness but i still don't know do all......
Feel like make her disappointed........I'm so sorry.......
But i still try my best do finish all the question........
And the 2nd day i was sit for Physics paper.......
Even yesterday late sleep because of wanted study what did my friend tell me......
She say exam will come out this call me go and study because she know that my physics very worse and she come for teaching me physics.......
She is the most have patience people teaching me physics.........
What she have say i also go for study and try my best memorize those all thing.......
And exam time really come out what she have telling me.......
I feel that she very smart......
But i feel that i very stupid even she tell me but i still forget what did i memorize.......
When i taking that exam paper my mind and brain is blank and shut down........
I don't know wanted put what answer on those all question........
But i try my best force myself remember all because of i don't want she feel disappointed on me........
Because the chiness paper i already make her feel disappointed don't want the 2nd time make her feel disappointed on me.......
Because she already try her best teaching me and find out what question exam going asked........
But i also feel very sorry to her.........
Sorry for you have to teaching a stupid people those all subject.......
Finally a that time i remember some of that all answer i could answer well......
Thank you,my friend~
Muackz~
The 3rd day i having the Chemistry paper.......
Also the same i don't know answer the question even i have tip and already study those all thing and didn't sleep at all......
Try my best memorize those all thing in my mind and brain........
And i some more go and teaching somebody about chemistry but don't know that people know wanted how to do.......
When reach to school still try my best memorize what did i study yesterday......
Then until i get the chemistry paper my mind and brain start blank again......
It really Oh My God......what did i study the hold night i forget all.......
I really very hate myself so stupid......
Study those all thing but still can forget it........
That time i really wanted give up don't want to do........
But can't because remember what did my daddy say if have anyone subject fail must sleep at roadsides and remember some people say before can't even try to give up because that people also won't give up for everything........
But after finish the hold week exam i have a feel is don't want to study at all......
Don't want go for exam just sleep at home better.........
Because i really don't want get worse result again........
Because really scare have 2 people will disappointed on my result.......
2 also is my important people: my daddy and you......
I really don't know want how i don't want get a worse result then i try my best go for study and memorize those important thing......
But at least all also because of my stupid brain suddenly blank forget all.......
I feel hate myself keep make people feel disappointed on me.......
I'm so sorry for those 2 people.........
Until now i still remember what did you tell me don't let give up appear in my life and my brain......
MUST do all the best can't just try at all.........
I what also remember so i do all my best don't let you feel disappointed.......
So i hear what you say i will contiunes sit for my exam until the end of the exam.......
Don't want make you feel disappointed again.......
Thank you~Muackz~

1/9/2009



Monday,is the first day of the tiral SPM exam..
Today is chiness text,and i know that myself chiness is the worse one......
Even how i try my best go for remember it and study it put the all concentrate on it always can't get a good result..Haiz~
Feel so disappointed on the chiness even i is the chiness people.....
Chiness get fail and no good result i can prepare go for die.....
My daddy say before if have anyone subject fail can no need come back home.......
I already try my best do all exam paper already.......
Today that chiness paper 1 is writing essay want......
There have 5 question wanted us choose 1........
then i had choose the tittle is have house is so good......
Actually i don't wanted write this because since the thing happen i does't have house.......
And don't know house is for what.......
Just for me have a place to sleep or just for me have a place for stare blankly......
Since the thing happen already maybe have 5 or 6 years but still can't really give me feel that house the feeling or have who that are really care me......
Since the thing happen my daddy promise before me if have anything happen also won't slap me or even wanted to blame me.......
He some more promise my mummy that he won't do those thing to me......
So that i only trust my daddy follow him come back to Malaysia.......
But seem like i trust wrong people already......
Nowadays don't know happen what thing his always blame me or slap me.......
Isn't me too nice to blame or too nice to slap a????
I really don't know what his mind thinking........
I through that he is the most know clearly about me.......
But i was wrong from that day until now he still haven know clearly about his daughter.....
I feel so disappointed when he does not know clearly about me......
I think for a week see whether is me do wrong thing he start don't know clearly about me.......
But even how i think i also can't think it is my wrong.......
So that i know that i trust wrong people already......
I can't hear he say come back to Malaysia.......
He say he could give me a good house feeling......
Today i really know that i trust wrong people and take wrong tittle as my eassy......
I does't have any house,house for me really very strange.......
I started feel that i can't live with someone trick me,lie me or always take me as "boxing bag"......
I strated wanted move away from this house......
So that when i started write the essay i really don't know wanted how write and give too many false answers........
For me got house really good????
Me also don't know......
Okay tired + sleepy......
wanted go to bed......
Good night to all my dear friend......
Muackz~

Dear,i'm so sorry......


Dear already 1o hours......
Please don't left me alone.....
You know that what will happen when you does not bother me.......
You know about me......
Please i really don't know what going on......
I really don't know what is happen until you don't want bother me for 10 hours already......
Now already is 1.30 before dawn,you still haven reply me any message or call.....
I don't know i find you for how many times already.......
I really don't know whether is you busy or really is me do wrong or say wrong to you......
Make you does not reply me for 10 hours already.......
I really very worry and also very scare......
I really don't know what can i do now........
I just can waiting for you reply me or call me.......
I now have a impluse wanted go your house find you......
But i know i can't so impulse say wanted find you then go find you......
So i choose for cool down and have patience for waiting you......
Dear,please i just wanted you reply me and tell me what is happen when you didn't reply me times......
You know that i very worry about you......
And i scare you just left me alone here and does't wanted bother me.......
Please,i'm very very very sorry for everythings.......
Dear,please i really very feel sorry to you.....
I not purposely wanted make you angry and feel out of sorts.......
I really don't know why my mood suddenly so bad and say wrong things already......
Please don't left me alone here and please bother me......
Dear,i'm really feel very sorry......
Please forgive me.....
I really hope have miracle that you will reply me......
I will keep on waiting for you until you reply me even didn't sleep........
Please,dear......
I'm so sorry,dear......

心情一次有一次掉入谷地......



今天一早就被xx叫醒一起去跑步了.......
最近身体差和很少跑步了......
就一起去跑步了,我们也很就没有一起跑步了......
以前我们都以不同的身份一起跑步,现在我们的身份又不一样了.......
很自然的感觉也不一样了.........
但是我们还跟以前一样跑步时都爱玩,作弄人和比赛了.......
到最后我就差那一点赢他了.......
然后我们就坐着休息,那时我们聊了好多东西.......
对不起,我们可能不能像以前一样了......
因为人自然的会因一些事而改变的......
可能你会找到比我更好的吧.......
之后我们回家咯,回到家就想要看下爸有没有打给我.......
然后我才发现我的手机吊匙的熊不见了........
我很慌张的在找,我的眼泪就突然的掉出来了.......
我真的很紧张,我真的不知道要怎样......
我不能不见那个东西的,很重要的......
我紧张的样给xx看到了,他也开始慌张的问做么......
我说我的东西不见了,他也帮我找......
但还是找不到,我就一直在掉眼泪,他就一直在tAm我......
HaIz~不见了.....我不知道要怎样......
之后就太累了和被他叫到休息下......
之后醒来时已经是12点了,要出去店帮爸了......
心情还是一样还没收拾好,哭的感觉还在.......
然后就sMs找你咯......想知道你现在在做么.......
然后被你问到做么酱迟才起身......
就告诉你因为刚哭过和太累了,又去休息了......
又被你问到为何哭了,那时哭的感觉又出来了.......
告诉你因为她送我的手机吊匙不见了......
你问为何那么紧张那个吊匙,不见了就叫那个人买回给我......
我当然紧张啦,因为那个东西再买回来就没有意义了,那天她送给我的诺言和所说的话全都没有了......
就不再重要了,我紧张是因为她是我好朋友,和那个东西带着我们之间的诺言......
对不起,可能那时心情不好对你发了小小的脾气......
然后你就在tAm说你会帮我找回的......
心情才开始冷静下来,是不是因为你tAm回我才好呢........
但心情始终还是很不开心.......
然后因为我们说到一些东西......
你就从那时不再回我的mSg了......
我不知道到底是我说错东西,做错事还是你太忙了.......
我的心情又开始不稳定了,又开始紧张了,开始担心了,很着急的在找你.......
我打给你,你不接,我sMs你,你不回........
那时我很清楚的知道我又做错事了,说错话了......
我不知道要怎样很想立刻飞去找你.......
但我还是选择冷静下来等你回我......
但等着等着,我足足等了10个小时你都没回我......
我从4.30等到凌晨1.30你都没回我.......
我的心情很直接的掉进谷地了......
我现在真的不知道要怎样......
现在每个人都在睡觉而我就一直在等你回我......
可能我要等到明天早上了......
我真的希望有奇迹的出现......
我真的希望你会回我,我真的很紧张的......
真的,快点回我......
真的很对不起......
好了不写了我还要再等下去.......
等到明天早上,早上没有回等到下午,下午没有回等到晚上......
总之会等到你回我为止我才可以安心的去休息了......
好了,晚安咯......
MuAcKz~